What To Expect
When I arrived at the hotel in Castle Rock on the evening prior to the rally start, I had no idea what to expect. There was the curiosity of seeing a few of the rally cars show up in the parking lot. How could I miss them? I somewhat regret not getting to the pre-rally meetup at the brewery, but having noticed that they did not offer any food choices, I skipped it.
There was more of that anxious curiosity when I got to the Rambler Ranch the next morning, but the rally master and rally planner both welcomed everyone to the rally and judged the cars, poking fun at us and our cars, which let us all know that we did not need to take anything (except our safety) all that seriously. We were there to have fun, and share the experience with others.
It’s Not Just the Checkpoints
The rally booklet at first glance was a bit daunting, and the checkpoints did not immediately seem to have a clear purpose, but as I finally soaked up all the information and started researching where to find the checkpoints, it became clear that this wasn’t just a race to collect points, the route was planned to take us on roads less traveled to see landmarks that all had historical context based on the route we took.
Snippets of Route 66 had us searching for ruins along the way. Finding locomotives took us back to the era before cars and 18-wheelers took over the roadways, and also showing us a glimpse of what past decades thought was “the future” with the experimental locomotives in Pueblo. The vast openness of New Mexico begged for us to look for the Very Large Array and find the site of the first atom bomb, and tie some of our upcoming checkpoints into that.
The “$35 detour” through the Grand Canyon was an example of how the rally will adapt to road, weather or natural hazards (like the Tunnel Fire that closed US-89 north of Flagstaff).
The staff also points out that we get many checkpoints per day, and we are not obligated to visit all of them, and we are also not obligated to stay at the recommended locations each night. Sure, you may lose a few points by skipping some of the checkpoints, but why turn this into a stressful exercise? That is one realization I made by the fourth day of the rally. Visiting all of the first day’s checkpoints was easy. The second day became harder, and the third was the most difficult, due to losing so much time with the detour along with the time zone change. The third day also had me frustrated since many parts of the route are without a wireless signal, and even if offline maps are saved in Google Maps, there is no way to retrieve more information en route if the Internet cannot be accessed.
Now It Makes Sense
The fourth day is when everything clicked for me. In Moab the evening prior, I made a point to save each of the next day’s checkpoints in Google Maps. When I got on the road the next day, navigation recalled my saved places as I began to type them in, and that greatly cut down on the time and frustration of searching for each place en route (even if I had already looked them up the previous evening).
The fourth day is also when I realized two things. First, that participating in the rally only to collect points makes it a somewhat solitary experience (on my third day, I rarely saw any of the other rally cars), and you feel as though you are simply rushing around, checkpoint to checkpoint, to get as many points as possible. It is exhausting, and can be frustrating. Second, holding back a bit means you will encounter more of your fellow rally participants along the way. I came across a handful of other cars at Dewey Bridge, and we had quite the congregation (and shenanigans) in Cisco. (The staff even recommends we travel in groups, especially for those with “challenged” vehicles.) I would cross paths with others throughout the fourth and final day. The finish line was when we finally rounded up everyone for one last gathering before we all departed.
What To Drive?
As for choices of vehicles, those who took the time to do their cars in themes, or drive something older and unusual (the hot-rodded 4-4-2, the Subaru wagon, the El Camino which had been revived after sitting 30 years abandoned, the Suzuki Every microvan…with tentacles), had a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I did not have much of a theme to speak of (time and lousy weather dashing any plan I had), but seeing things firsthand, I got better ideas to execute the aborted theme that will be revived for the next rally, in a car that is probably more suited for the Lemons experience.
Would I Do This Again?
You betcha.
The Rust Belt Ramble is coming up next, traveling from Detroit to Dayton, Pittsburgh and Buffalo. There is also a Great River Road rally late in October that travels from New Orleans to St. Paul, Minnesota, following the Mississippi River. The former is closer to me; the latter travels through some parts of the country I have not yet visited.
In future years, any Rocky Mountain Breakdown will take a different path. It may, for instance, take us north of Denver into Wyoming, South Dakota and Nebraska. All the rallies are changed up every year, with new checkpoints and altered routes. This keeps it attractive for repeat offenders who want to enjoy the Lemons Rally experience without it getting repetitive. The Four Corners states are my favorites in the country, and I’ll be open to any opportunity to take part in another rally out west.
Should You Do a Lemons Rally?
A Lemons Rally is a fast but interesting variation on a road trip that offers camaraderie, education, sightseeing, and the chance to win dubious trophies for the sake of enjoyment. While you do have to find your own rooms for the night and feed yourself, and pay for your own fuel, all you need to do is pay the entry fee, then show up at the assigned time. While there are necessary rules for everyone’s safety, the rally is otherwise loosely operated so participants can have an enjoyable time.
The best way to get an idea for a car, a theme for the car, and a theme for yourself and your possible co-pilots, is to look at the photos and names of past Lemons Rally participants. You can bring a daily driver, but don’t expect to win any bonus points. If you need to bring a daily driver or a spare car, there are ways to decorate it (removable vinyl stickers and wraps, magnetic bumper stickers, painters tape) that will not damage your paint. Props and a costume will help your score.
There is a rental car class in the rally now, so choice of an unusual rental car and a theme to go with it is also a possibility. Some choose to decorate an older car. Others participate in their classic cars, with nothing more than a couple of Lemons Rally stickers to show for it.
As for competition, don’t expect much. This not a rally of speed and getting to a finish line before anyone else. This is a rally for visiting checkpoints and doing extra activities for bonus points. The nightly stops are only recommended–you do not need to finish at these stops, as you can lag behind or even push yourself and get a jump on the next day’s checkpoints. As long as you’re at the starting location for judging and the driver’s meeting, and arrive at the finish line on time, you’re good.
In essence, this isn’t a $7,500 Lux Rally driven in exotic supercars. This is a rally the normal person can participate in. Put into it what you can. Don’t sweat what you can’t afford. Make do with what you have, poke fun at yourself and your vehicle, and never take anything too seriously.